So today, I was a little more tired than usual.
I was in our university’s covered courts for a good part of it, packing relief goods for the typhoon victims.
Most of you who drop by my blog here are international readers. And you may or may not know this, but I’m a Filipino, and I’m currently in the Philippines.
You’ve heard the disaster that Haiyan wreaked here. The earthquakes, the fighting… our country, I will not deny, is a mess at the moment. So much shit has hit the fan that it’s more shitpile now than actual fan.
I’ve been really busy as of late, but this latest thing is the just the series of things that have made me look back and re-examine most of my life in general, and everything else. You know how it is- I just think too fast, too well for my own good. -_-”
My international readers must surely know of the chaos that’s happening right now in that part of my country. Looters. Scavengers. It’s literally the Last Of Us down there, with the only difference that instead of fighting against genetically mutated zombie things, we’re fighting the human condition.
Last night my dorm mates and I discussed if we were willing to resort to what is happening right now to survive. If we were supposed to loot to feed and fend for ourselves. And it got me thinking: in a world of total anarchy, where does one find anything? Do the survivors find peace? Do we know who we are when we are tested or do we understand a little less, each time?
Those are questions that I know I can’t answer. I don’t know if I ever will. In the face of such adversity, what man or woman can stand against such odds?
and yet even now, as I write, people are still packing relief goods in the covered courts. Donations are pouring in from little girls selling lemonade in the streets to world leaders pledging their aid. Having coordinated with the United Nations, I know that the Office for the Coordination of Humanitarian Aid (UN-OCHA) must be working their asses off.
Don’t get me wrong: I know there’s a side here that’s ugly. Misappropriated funds, insensitive people, people who think that they’re helping but actually making things worse, people who are making things worse. There’s always the good, the bad, and the ugly in everything- it just so happens that we take the good for granted, the bad with a little distaste, and pay too much damn attention to the ugly.
In the coming days, I’ll probably write a lot more about what’s going on here in my country. For the UN, for my fellow students helping out in the relief efforts, for the people who read my blog, and myself, just to get it out of my system. But I would like to leave everyone who happens upon this article with a little thought:
that even despite how much clusterfuck has been going on,
that even how fake, how useless everything seems to be,
when the shit hits the fan,
we still try to clean it up anyway.
And that’s fucking beautiful.